To our listeners, our followers, our friends. The Grognostics staff is excited for the upcoming year. We've been busy back at our podcast shop crafting up new episodes with our shiny new sound mixer to bring you tantalizing intrigue in the new year. Listen to hear what we have cooking in the oven for the new year.
Exactly how much do you know about that jolly man who miraculously slithers his plump frame down your chimney every December 24th? Is he a figment of your imagination? A capitalistic ploy conjured up in a department store board room to sell more argyle Christmas sweaters? A 7th century philanthropian? Well yes, actually, all of those, yet so much more. Take a dive down the Grognostics Christmas chimney for some yule-tide exploration on the origins of Christmas, drink some holiday brews, visit the North Pole with our correspondent Sir Matthew (41:00), and get a look at Christmas through the eyes of an 11 year-old, comedically of course. (57:00) Happy Holidays and to all a good night.
Edward dreams of a fresh new life, free from the shackles of his past when he steps onto a boat headed for the new world in 1587. However, shortly after arrival when colonists start vanishing one by one, he and the rest of the settlement realize that their dream of a fresh new life, has become the most sinister of nightmares.
Grab a cold beverage, summon your imaginative side, and give a listen to the first-ever Grognostic fictional short - A Roanoke Story.
430 years ago, 88 men 17 women and 11 children left the only life they’d ever known in England to forge a new one in the new world. They were promised bounties, riches and a place in history. They got one, sort of. Soon after arrival, a colonist is murdered by natives so with food dwindling they send a colonist back to England for more supplies. When he returns, he discovers what no archeologist, historian or ballywhacker podcasters have been able to explain for centuries. On this Thanksgiving episode these turkey-like show hosts investigate the oldest mystery in American history along with the help of Sir Matthew (35:00) and a familiar friend.
None of the usual. All of the necessary.
Grognostics says thank you to our Veterans.
Veteran's Day 11.10.17
Take a spooky journey with the MoJo sisters, a white witch and the two most haunted places in America. The lads throw it all in the cauldron, rattle the skeletons, and give a goodnight kiss to the ghouls, goblins, and spiders crawling on microphones on this third and final show in the series. Beer review with Ely Alexander.
Take another journey down the creepy rabbit hole with us on part 2/3 of our Halloween Special. We count down more of the top 10 Haunted Places in America, visit a local haunted eatery, Sir Matthew corresponds in the field (36 min) and have beer review by Oisin O'Reilly.
Welcome to Spookgnostics - a special trilogy of episodes brewed with horror, spooky knowledge and hair-raising hilarity. The lads will count down the Top 10 Haunted Places in America. There are ghost stories told first-hand by guests. Sir Matthew is on-site at a haunted mansion in California. There are even on-site interviews at local haunted establishments. Grab a beer, make out with a deer and/or zombie vampire skeleton and get ready to laugh and get spooked at the same time. Grognostics welcomes guest Megan Bledsoe for this scary expedition.
The Virtual Reality craze is taking off. VR is no longer just about teleporting yourself inside a video game to battle ferocious monsters and diabolic villains. In the not-so-distant future you might be able to take vacations, walk a day inside someone else’s shoes, viewing the world as they world, or share an intimate experience as you would in person – all from the comfort of your own home. Literally everything you do today could ultimately be inside a VR experience. But…what does that mean for humanity as people get more used to experiencing the world from their VR chair in their basement? What happens to the tangible world as we know it? Real human connections? Reproduction? Basic human needs? Life itself? Could this be the beginning of the end?
Debut appearance from field correspondent Sir Matthew. Beer review from Ely Alexander and Oisin O’Reilly. Amie stops by.
On this show the lads drift down a path of historical, social, and absolute inappropriateness. Believe it or not humans have been sick, twisted, and ripe with odd sexual proclivities since the beginning of time - you just don’t hear about it on the Discovery Channel. The gloves, pants and roller sandals come off as they go deep into sex in the ancient world. What were the first vibrators like? How was infidelity viewed? Why exactly were reptile fetishes acted upon? Journey into the sexual world of the Aztecs, Greeks, Romans, Chinese, Hindu, and Egyptians. You’ll learn things you never could’ve imagined (nor would you have ever wanted to without a good therapist on speed dial). Us humans, we’re some sort of freaks.
Beer reviews by new beer correspondents Oisin O’Reilly and Ely Alexander. Gabriela Jasso guest appears.
At the same moment on October 14th, one out of every fifty people on Earth vanished. Shockingly plucked by death’s talons, all depart without a trace. This is the premise of HBO’s fictional hit show, “The Leftovers” which recently finished its third and final season. Those remaining were left to ponder the inexplicability of their own mortality and navigate through a world filled with loss and confusion. On this episode, Grognostics asks the question - what if this happened in real life? What would be the plausible causes? Would it be geological, spiritual, multi-dimensional or induced by a lone ravenous, prognosticating, Mesozoic reptile? And most importantly, how would the size of Christopher Columbus’s manhood play a part? Luciano Muselli, Jevon Mattiassi, Ely Alexander, and Karen Starr guest to examine how and why 2% of the world’s population would meet their demise. Sobering, yes, but as usual there’s plenty of humor peppered in along the way.
Woven out of a precocious cloth of militaristic acclaim, Matt possessed a combat blueprint very few humans did. That in itself wasn't the intrigue. Many decorated militants have achieved mastery in specific battles. There was, however, one small difference between him and the others - he was just five years of age.
In an appendix to Episode 12, the lads sit down with a close friend of the show to enjoy his fascinating story of first-hand reincarnation. Listen as the idea of reincarnation blurs from spiritual fiction to absolute certainty.
How much do you know about your past lives? Were you a young settler on the Oregon Trail, an octopus, or an award-winning-bowling-alley-employee during your last time on Earth? Did you know that birthmarks indicate how you died in your last life? Can a person reincarnated find the murderer that ended their last life? Can Steve sing like the Backstreet Boys? These are some of life's most-asked questions solved on this latest episode. Kelly Stravers, Lauren Boyle and Karen Starr guest appear on a spiritual expedition into the concept of reincarnation.
This 11th show puts the cast back in podcast as the Grognostic lads are joined by some of their closest friends for two parts hilarity, three parts nonsensical and ninety-nine parts schizophrenic. There’s a blooper reel, a a trivia gameshow, beer, an exclusive interview with The Producer and if you listen hard enough you’ll hear a yeti making love to an apparition who previously fell down a well. Only three of those are true. Pour yourself a cold one and join guests George Sellas, Karen Starr, Luciano Muselli, Ely Alexander, Jevon Matiassi, Kelly Stravers, Nick Avlonitis, and Christina Premutati for this bonus episode.
First came Godfather II. Alien(s). Terminator 2. All were blockbuster sequels that crushed their predecessor. Today, another breaches the paranormal surface – Mandela Effect Part II. The producer and Amie are back for a sequel long-awaited by no one that dissects the validity of the entire concept itself. Could it simply be a case of Miss Remembering? (Beauty pageant winner from a Mandela Effect- created state west of Oregon called Remembering Island). Was it a concept fabricated by nerds who couldn’t answer pop culture questions? Did Henhouse IPA’s can logo have something to do with it? Grab a cold beer, make out with a deer, and go on a magical journey into alternative realities that may or may not be just outside your reach. Then, you can be the judge.
Music provided by Liam Oragh @ oragh.bandcamp.com
How much do you really know about the reality you live in? Can you be certain this reality is the same one you grew up in? The one you were in last month? Yesterday? On this episode, the lads examine a reality where the Producer didn’t get enough hugs when he was little, dive deep into the life of a 1952 Berlin men’s slalom captain who knew the importance of maintaining his vital juices... oh, and discover that the reality we live in is changing ever-so-slightly every day. No biggie. With each nuance slipping clandestinely past our lucid minds, we’re destined to wake up one day and realize our world is not as we remember. That day happens to be today.
The Producer and Amie guest star on this hysterical episode.
Music provided by Liam Oragh (https://oragh.bandcamp.com/)
The Sumerians developed writing, invented the wheel, redirected rivers, partied with aliens, wrote secret scrolls, and basically accomplished more in five minutes of existence than the hosts of the show have accomplished in 40 years. Archeologists, had they returned our calls would have confirmed though - they never hosted a podcast. Bam! How you like them apples Sumer? Hail an Uber Camel and travel on a hilarious expedition to Mesopotamia’s most mystifying and ancient culture. Come for the history, but stay for the extraterrestrials, mysterious “Planet X” and tips on how to turn a demigod into a night watchman. Who wouldn't’ want to know that?
Disclaimer: You will be rewarded karmically by listening to this podcast.
Ah, that Karma - she’s an unforgiving lassie. Some might even say karma’s a b__ch. Help an old lady across the street, grab a couple cold ones, then journey on an auditory safari through the spiritual concept of karma on today’s show. How does karma work? Is it real or just something conjured up by hippy store owners to sell more crystals? Is it instant or spread out over multiple lifetimes? Do we have a karmic scoreboard thus pre-determining the karmic journey of our life before we set foot outside the amniotic fluid? Swing by momentarily for the spiritual enlightenment, stay a while for the show’s host who thinks he’s Ethel Merman. Uh, we can explain. No, we probably can’t.
On this hilariously tantalizing episode, the Grognostic lads grab the sarcophagus by the esophagus and exhume their way inside ancient Egypt’s most sinister intrigue - tomb curses. Are they real, mere coincidences, or just something Brendan Frazier conjured up to get more people to watch his films? And of course, some of life’s most-queried conundrums will also be addressed - why don’t we see more mummy apparitions on boat cruises? How come there aren’t more cat selfies on social media? Why aren’t more drug-addicted archeologists just out and about? Come take a journey deep into the less explored, hilarious bowels of antiquity and explore for yourself, if you dare.
Ever had the feeling you’ve been abducted and probed by beings from another world? If so it just means that your roommate is getting friendlier than you’d probably like. On this episode Jason and Steve teeter on the edge of paranormal and prank when they dive into the disputed world of crop circles. Bringing a level of comedic gravitas found nowhere else, they even manage to discuss menstrual cycles. I’m sorry, what’s that now? So...are crop circles real? Fake? A message from Mel Gibson? You’ll just have to listen and explore for yourself. Have a pint or two with us in the process.
What do balls of stone, magically delicious inhabitants, and sexual escapades with an iconic, iron tower in France have to do with the most advanced neolithic society to walk the planet? Absolutely nothing, but we figured we’d talk about them anyway. Skara Brae, a stone-built, prehistoric village off mainland Scotland remained untouched for over 5000 years. Once discovered, it brought to light how little we know about the history of our species. On this episode, explore the best-preserved neolithic settlement the world has ever seen. Come for the history, but stay for the hilarity, not to mention the best Scottish accent west of San Francisco.
80-ton statues walking on their own. Magical spirit essence raining down from the heavens. A thriving island population mysteriously turning to cannibalism. A birdman cult. The remains of the Easter Bunny pristinely preserved in a shallow grave. Four of these are true. Well, maybe three. Two tops. On this show, your least-favorite lads tackle the most mystifying island on the planet, Easter Island, while also showcasing their award-winning acting talents.
The red pill, the blue pill, and pints of frosty beer - which will you choose?
How much do you think you know about your own species? Can you prove you're not a sequence of binary 1s and 0s programmed by some futuristic teenager in his mom's basement up in the clouds? One well-respected theorist has determined that "without question" the human race is a simulation. On this episode your favorite lads, well-respected by no one discuss the idea that the truth of your existence is actually way beyond your wildest imagination.
Organs with Memories, A Prophet Who Likes to Party & Dead-ringers. It's All Science. We Think.
Do organs contain desires, memories, and the story of the body they belong to? Can that narrative continue if transplanted into another person long after the donor has been gone? Or is this the makings of another Jessica Alba movie gone terribly wrong? In this first-ever episode, fittingly posted on St. Patrick's Day, Jason & Steve examine the idea that leaving your heart in San Francisco may mean you're living on posthumously inside someone else. Or it could mean they now know your yahoo password and are setting your fantasy football lineup to all kickers. Listen in.
Take a listen as Jason and Steve dive into their first-ever podcast. One day when they're neither rich nor famous, listeners will look back at this first attempt and think - they really haven't improved much have they? In this episode they try their best to explain what sort of mystique and thought-provoking topics they'll be covering as well as exactly what a Grognostic really is, while also digressing multiple times in attempts to quell their nerves.